May 19, 2015

I Did It! I Conquered My Fear In 164 Steps

Enjoying nature and going into the woods may not be a big deal for most of you but for me it scares the living daylights out of me! No kidding!

I didn't used to be this way, I love nature and grew up camping, hiking and doing many adventurous things.  I just shared where my fears came from in my previous post, "Facing My Fears In The Wilderness".

I decided today was as good a time as any to face this fear head on and stop lurking at the deep green woods like a monster was going to jump out.  

You should have seen the expressions on my family's faces when I told them I wanted to go with them down to the river today. It was priceless.

As I headed toward the steep 164 step staircase, leading down into the woods, and to the river, I definitely had some apprehension but I was determined to do this and not let my fear of Lyme Disease or any other disease or bug stop me.

I'm not afraid of the river, it's beautiful and peaceful but powerful and glorious at the same time. My fear is of going anywhere ticks may live waiting to bite me or my family.

You know what? I realized today that I hate bugs and spiders too!

I've lived for 8 long years completely avoiding wooded areas and have even declined invitations to parties which were in wooded areas. I truly am sorry if you were the host of one of those parties.  I know it's hard to understand but my fears are real.

We've lived for 8 long years with the chronic pain of Lyme Disease, Bartonella, Babesia and Mycoplasma. Unless you've experienced it, I'm not sure you'd understand why I would never want to get another tick infection again.

Up there on the scale of chronic pain, fear is horrible too. It can cripple you, it can make you think irrational thoughts and it can definitely keep you from enjoying time with friends and family.

So here we are on a family vacation and everyone is having such a good time while I hang back and read and keep the house clean. Doesn't sound like much fun and it wasn't. It's not fun missing out on what my kids are doing and seeing.  I wanted to be a part of that.

So, today, I conquered this fear 1 step at a time, 164 steps down and 164 steps back up.  Yay me!

Here I go........

I can do this!  I know I can.

EEEk, there are way too many bugs down here and you should've seen the ginormous spider.

I Made It !!!

It sure is beautiful here at the river and I'm so glad I came to spend time with my family.

I made it down and back and I conquered one of my biggest fears!  I'm not sure I'll be doing that again any time soon but I do feel good about it!

I can't promise you that I'll go to your party in the woods or take you up on an invitation to go hiking any time soon but I'm getting there and I really appreciate your patience.

This is my favorite way to enjoy nature, out on the deck with iced tea and a good book, after I kicked the spider off my chair.

Enough with the selfies now!  Thanks for joining me on my big vacation adventure.

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